Besides a Masterpiece

What You Get

  • One custom, hand-drawn digital trainwreck of cuteness
  • Your pet’s name included, unless they prefer anonymity
  • Delivered fast — like, tomorrow
  • High-res PNG & JPG (print it, meme it, shrine it)
  • Use it however you want — personal, commercial, blackmail
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  • 2,500+ pet parents laughing

  • 5/5 stars for gloriously bad art

  • Next-day portrait delivery

  • 100% digital and ready to print

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Why We’re Not Like The Others

  • We don’t use filters. Just raw talent and weird vibes.
  • Still only $5 per pet — not even joking
  • 100% digital = zero shipping drama
  • Next-day delivery = instant(ish) gratification
  • Perfect for last-minute gifts and impulse decisions
Order Your Ugly Portrait Now

How It Works (It’s Literally So Easy)

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  • 1. Order Your Portrait

     Click the button above to place your order and fill out a questionnaire to give me the details of your order.

  • 2. We Draw the Portrait

     We’ll turn the photo of your pet into a beautifully weird digital masterpiece by the next day.

  • 3. Get Your Digital Download

    You’ll receive a shareable download link. Print it, frame it, meme it, tattoo it — it’s yours forever.
Order Your Ugly Portrait Now

  • 1. Order Your Portrait

     Click the button above to place your order and fill out a questionnaire to give me the details of your order.

  • 2. We Draw the Portrait

     We’ll turn the photo of your pet into a beautifully weird digital masterpiece by the next day.

  • 3. Get Your Digital Download

    You’ll receive a shareable download link. Print it, frame it, meme it, tattoo it — it’s yours forever.
Order Your Ugly Portrait Now

Still Have Questions?

How fast is delivery?

By the very next day.

Can I print the portrait?

Yes! You’ll get a high-resolution 8x10" file, perfect for printing. You'll also receive a transparent PNG file so you can print your portrait on anything!

Can you draw more than one pet?

Yup! I can add as many
as five animals per portrait.

Do you draw just dogs and cats?

No, I can draw any animal you consider a pet, whether it's your pet rock or your pet alligator.

Real Reactions From Real Pet Parents

  • ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Angie

    “Super funny and cute! Highly recommend!”

  • ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Tracy

    “Great quality artwork; I absolutely loved what they did - so cute! I would order from them again & again!”

  • ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  – Caitlin

    “So freaking cute! I got my digital print really quick & loved how it turned out!”

  • ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – juliebean1983

    “I’m such a fan of these portraits. They’re so funny and capture the dogs personality perfectly.”

Let’s Make Something Weirdly Beautiful Together

Pet portraits that make people laugh, cry, and say “OMG that’s SO them.”

Order Your Ugly Portrait Now